Katty Kay on How To Build Your Confidence

In the 'Game Changers with Molly Fletcher' podcast episode featuring Katty Kay, the conversation delves into the intricate nature of confidence, its impact on leadership, success, and fulfillment, and how individuals can cultivate it. Katty Kay, co-author of 'The Confidence Code' and a seasoned BBC News anchor, shares her insights from years of research into the science of confidence. The episode begins with Kay recounting her eclectic background, from studying medieval French and Italian literature to a stint at the Bank of England, and eventually finding her calling in journalism after being inspired by a friend to cover stories in Zimbabwe for the BBC.

The pivotal moment leading to Kay's interest in confidence research occurred when she and her co-author, Claire Shipman, noticed a pattern among successful women attributing their achievements to luck rather than their own abilities—a stark contrast to the mindset of their male counterparts. This observation spurred them to explore the 'confidence gap' between genders, particularly in the workplace. Kay defines confidence as 'the stuff that turns thoughts into action,' highlighting that confidence is not mere bravado but a catalyst for taking risks and learning from failures.

Kay and Shipman's research reveals that confidence is partially genetic, with 25-40% determined by our DNA, but the remainder is influenced by our actions and experiences. Kay emphasizes the importance of acting more and thinking less, avoiding the trap of over-ruminating on failures or imperfections. The episode also touches on the societal double standards that women face in the workplace, the detrimental effects of striving for perfection, and the critical role of authenticity in fostering genuine confidence.

The discussion also extends to the influence of confidence in negotiations and its particular significance for women, who often face a double bind between being assertive and likable. Kay offers practical advice for overcoming negative automatic thoughts by focusing on positive outcomes and creating alternative scenarios to counteract catastrophic thinking. Additionally, she speaks to the transformative power of team sports in building confidence among girls and young women by normalizing the experience of both winning and losing.