I, I, I. Him

The 'I, I, I. Him' episode of the 'Invisibilia' podcast explores the theme of loss and the journey of coping and moving forward. The narrative begins with the host, Hanna Rosen, reflecting on her mother's unexpected desire to go skydiving after the death of her father. This desire is a stark contrast to her mother's typically non-adventurous nature and is rooted in a profound sense of loss. The host's father had passed away from a rapid illness, leaving her mother grappling with grief and the absence of her life partner of 51 years. As her mother contemplates skydiving, she seeks a connection with her late husband, hoping to deliver a message to him in the sky.

The episode then transitions to the story of Lloyd and Brenda, beekeepers in Montana who face a devastating loss when their beehives are stolen. This theft represents not just a financial blow but also an existential one, as beekeeping is at the core of their identity. The couple's struggle to come to terms with the loss is compounded by their search for someone to blame, leading them to fixate on immigration policy and the potential involvement of Eastern European immigrants in the theft. Their narrative illustrates the difficulty of accepting loss and the human tendency to seek explanations for suffering.

Psychologist James Pennebaker is introduced to provide insight into the process of coping with loss. Pennebaker's research on language and word usage reveals that the pronouns people use when describing their experiences can indicate how well they are coping. Those who excessively use 'I' words may be stuck in a loop of self-focused rumination, whereas shifting between 'I' and other perspectives can signify a healthier processing of grief. Pennebaker suggests that actively constructing a new story, rather than being trapped in the old one, is key to moving forward.