Brené on Comparative Suffering, the 50/50 Myth, and Settling the Ball
Brené on Comparative Suffering, the 50/50 Myth, and Settling the Ball
March 27, 2020
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25m
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Episode Ranking: 6/100
TOPICS: Relationships
Episode Description
Feeling weary amidst the pandemic? This episode is for you. Hear from brave frontliners and their supporters as they share their experiences. Learn strategies for coping, staying connected, and allowing yourself to feel tough emotions. Explore your ad choices at podcastchoices.com/adchoices.
Ideabrix Summary
In the 'Unlocking Us with Brené Brown' podcast episode titled 'Brené on Comparative Suffering, the 50/50 Myth, and Settling the Ball,' Brené Brown addresses the collective weariness experienced during the COVID-19 pandemic. She acknowledges the exhaustion felt by everyone, especially frontline workers, and stresses the importance of normalizing this shared fatigue. Brené highlights that the adrenaline surge that helps us through the initial phase of a crisis is not sustainable, and as it wanes, we must confront the loss of our normal lives and routines.
Brené introduces the concept of 'settling the ball,' a soccer metaphor for taking control of the situation, slowing down, and strategizing rather than reacting impulsively. She emphasizes the need to establish a new normal while grieving the loss of the old one. To aid this, she suggests limiting news intake and focusing on reliable, calm sources of information for strategic planning.
A key strategy Brené discusses is the 'family gap plan,' which challenges the myth that relationships are always 50/50. Instead, she explains that relationships are about partners being able to compensate when the other is lacking. Brené shares personal anecdotes to illustrate how her family identifies their current 'percentage' of capability and develops a gap plan to reach a collective 100%. This plan includes prioritizing sleep, exercise, healthy eating, limited news consumption, and positive communication.
The second strategy tackles 'comparative suffering,' the tendency to dismiss our feelings because others have it worse. Brené argues that empathy is not finite and that denying our emotions only leads to shame and a decrease in our ability to empathize with others. She advocates for acknowledging and honoring our struggles and those of others to promote healing and empathy.
Brené concludes by reminding listeners to take care of themselves and each other. She encourages parents and teachers to allow children to feel their emotions and to model how to navigate feelings in a brave and kind manner.
Brené introduces the concept of 'settling the ball,' a soccer metaphor for taking control of the situation, slowing down, and strategizing rather than reacting impulsively. She emphasizes the need to establish a new normal while grieving the loss of the old one. To aid this, she suggests limiting news intake and focusing on reliable, calm sources of information for strategic planning.
A key strategy Brené discusses is the 'family gap plan,' which challenges the myth that relationships are always 50/50. Instead, she explains that relationships are about partners being able to compensate when the other is lacking. Brené shares personal anecdotes to illustrate how her family identifies their current 'percentage' of capability and develops a gap plan to reach a collective 100%. This plan includes prioritizing sleep, exercise, healthy eating, limited news consumption, and positive communication.
The second strategy tackles 'comparative suffering,' the tendency to dismiss our feelings because others have it worse. Brené argues that empathy is not finite and that denying our emotions only leads to shame and a decrease in our ability to empathize with others. She advocates for acknowledging and honoring our struggles and those of others to promote healing and empathy.
Brené concludes by reminding listeners to take care of themselves and each other. She encourages parents and teachers to allow children to feel their emotions and to model how to navigate feelings in a brave and kind manner.
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