#74 Making Friends

The '#74 Making Friends' episode of the 'Reply All' podcast, hosted by Alex Goldman and PJ Vogt, features a story reported by Laura Clevens about a woman from Missouri named Shay (a pseudonym). Shay lives with a profound secret: she hears a voice in her head, a phenomenon she initially feared was a sign of mental illness. The voice first appeared when Shay was in a deep depression after high school, contemplating suicide. The voice, which identified itself as Jasmine, a character Shay had created for a fanfiction story, encouraged her to consider the possibilities for her future, effectively saving her life. Over time, Jasmine persisted as a companion and advisor in Shay's daily life, although Shay kept this a secret from everyone, including her husband, John.

Shay's life progressed; she moved to a larger town, worked as a nurse's aide, and got involved with a church. There, she met John, and they eventually married. Despite the happiness she found with him, Shay continued to keep Jasmine a secret. Years into her marriage, Shay discovered a subreddit dedicated to individuals who experience similar phenomena, known as 'tulpas'. Tulpas are described as intelligent companions created by intense focus and imagination. Shay realized that Jasmine was a tulpa and found comfort in the community of 'tulpamancers' who shared their experiences with their own tulpas. Encouraged by this newfound knowledge, Shay went on to create additional tulpas.

The episode follows Shay's journey as she eventually decides to reveal her secret to John. This revelation leads to a significant strain on their relationship, resulting in John's inability to accept Shay's tulpas and ultimately the end of their marriage. Shay moves into a shared house with other tulpamancers, where she finds a sense of belonging and acceptance that she had not experienced before.