24. ALL THE FEELS: Can we experience our emotions—not as good or bad—but as information to guide us?

The 'We Can Do Hard Things' podcast episode '24. ALL THE FEELS' begins with host Glennon Doyle expressing her current struggle with overwhelming emotions as she prepares to send her son to college. She reveals her tendency to numb her feelings as a survival mechanism, a habit that traces back to her early addiction as a means to cope with the intensity of her emotions. Glennon recounts a pivotal moment in her early sobriety when an older woman at a recovery meeting shared a life-changing perspective with her: being human is not about feeling happy, but about feeling everything, and all feelings are meant to be felt, even the uncomfortable ones.

Throughout the episode, Glennon, her sister Amanda Doyle (referred to as 'sister'), and her wife Abby Wambach explore the concept of emotions as information rather than as inherently good or bad. They discuss the cultural construct of happiness and how it has evolved over time, noting that emotions like sadness were once valued for their ability to build resilience. The conversation touches on the physiological aspects of emotions, emphasizing that emotions are automatic responses that can be managed through practices like reappraisal, which involves reevaluating one's initial emotional response with new information. The hosts also delve into the idea of 'save as drafts,' a strategy Glennon uses to prevent immediate reactions to strong emotions, allowing wisdom to catch up with her feelings before taking action.

The episode concludes with a discussion on the distinction between depression and the normal range of human emotions. Glennon describes depression as an onslaught of feelings that eventually leads to a numbing grayness, differentiating it from the normal emotional responses to life's challenges. The hosts also touch upon the collective emotional fatigue that many people are experiencing due to the constant barrage of global crises, suggesting that this can lead to a survival-based numbness. They propose that there is a 'third way' to navigate emotions, which involves feeling them deeply while also maintaining a sense of presence and joy in life.